As many of you can imagine being a step parent is difficult, I know, this is NOT a newsflash for any of you that have been gracious enough to take the role. I know many people who used to say "I will never date anyone with kids" but it happens. Having step kids reveals an entirely new challenge to just being a parent. One can only hope that the relationship between you and their "natural" parent is a good one, if not, hike up the difficulty meter about ten notches. In most cases, your relationship with the "natural" parent is not a good one, I try to make sure of the opposite, whenever possible. I am one of those "weirdos" who actually make friends with my kids potential step parents. I have known one of my exes SO's for about 10 years, we were actually friends before she even became his SO. I know, WHAT? but It's true. She even got me a job and I worked with her for 3 years, and we are still friends now even though they aren't together anymore.

In our case, I have two step kids, and then add two kids living in the house that neither of you are parents to? An even more daunting task, to say the least. There is always the underlying fear of treating others differently, or playing "favorites", and it DOES happen. Don't let anyone lie to you, it does. No matter how perfect the family may seem. It is inevitable, you will always have a stronger bond with children that you gave birth to, it's human nature-get used it.





As much as you would like your SO or husband/wife to love your children as much as they love their own, it can't happen. It's not a bad thing, so don't go getting your panties in a bunch. I love ALL of these kids. I do for M's kids as much as I do my own, I love my niece and nephew more than words can ever explain, but it is NOT the same as my own children. Don't get me wrong the love, the dedication, the worries are all there, but not as much as it is for your own children.








Then there is the unfortunate part of dealing with the "other half" when the relationships are not so great. In our particular situation there are 7 "other" parents. We have one in prison, one on their way there, one who just got out, one who is bound to end up there sooner or later, another who isn't there for who knows why, and one that is just plain lazy. Now that sounds a little crazy I know, but it's true. Out of these seven other parents there is only one who pays a minimal amount of child support...the others...well they just don't help out at all, physically, mentally or financially.





I'm sure I know what you are thinking..."WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???" Well, I was young...so I wasn't thinking. I didn't get a resume from these people, nor did I contact a psychic to tell me what kind of parents any of these people would be. It happens, but to be honest most of these "other" parents weren't so bad way back when.

• T's dad was a high school graduate, that took classes in Accounting grew up with a mommy and a step daddy who doted on him his entire life. He grew up in a nice neighborhood, went to a decent school, played baseball and football with his step daddy as his coach.




• D and Little M's dad, more or less the same, he didn't graduate from high school, but grew up with his mommy and daddy, Daddy coached his little league teams, nice house, nice neighborhood, good school, etc.




• Big C and H's mom, I don't have much to say about her because I didn't really know her all that well. From what I understand she was kind of a wild teen, lived with her grandparents but both of her parents were involved.




• N and Little C's mom, grew up in a single parent house hold (I know this because she is my sister) she had a bit of an attitude growing up, but did not have a bad childhood by any means.




• N's dad has tried to live a bit of a "thug" life, which seemed to be my sister's preference in men, he has been in and out of prison as long as I have known him.




• Little C's dad, the same as above. Wanna be "G", and it got him a one way ticket to the slammer for the next 15 years.

Sooo...how id we end up here?

I can answer this in one word: DRUGS! Most of them got involved with drugs for recreation at a young age, a few in high school, some in middle school, and one not until later in life. Smoking marijuana to start off with, and as with most addicts, it got worse over the years. As a society we are all faced with the reality of the new Pill Mill problems, "Legal" marijuana, bath salts, posh, etc. People get sucked in very quickly. Which is the case with 5 of our "other" parents. The other 2, just grew up that way and it was acceptable, one's father was a convicted bank robber, and enlisted his son at a young age to help rob houses, and such...I'm a little sketchy on the other's childhood, but I'm guessing it wasn't so hot, considering his brother and sister are in the same boat he is.

The sad part about all of this is our children have been the ones to pay. I get angry on a daily basis, I feel sorry for all of the kids...and at times, I even feel sorry for the parents for what they are missing out on. I push myself daily to try and be the best parent I can be for each of them. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I completely suck, but I try.





The worst is when one of these "other" parents want to cast judgement on either one of us. We have given up, sacrificed and bent over backwards to give these kids the best life we possibly can, with little or no help from any of them.





While they walk up with new shoes, when I haven't had the pleasure of purchasing a new pair for 6 years. While the both of us work our butts off, while they live with and sponge off of others because they could never maintain a place of their own. They are sporting new tattoos, while we struggle to pay the electric bill, they are taking road trips while I am saving pennies to make sure I have enough gas to get them all to practice and doctor's appointments. While they are thousands upon thousands behind in child support, but aren't willing to help with school clothes or extra curricular, while they go without buying their kids anything for Christmas but have enough money to buy drugs or buy for their other kids. Sorry a short vent here, but I'm sure some of you deal with this as well.

I'm done venting,

Until Next Time,

My Mixed up Family of 9

Boredom? What's that??

While pondering my boredom...because you know I don't have enough to do in my life, I realized that in a few short years, I will miss all of this chaos? What on earth will I do with my time? What happens when you don't have to rearrange your entire week to schedule 7 dr visits? What happens when my phone will no longer remind me that it is time to make 7 dentist appointments, eye appointments, schedule teacher conferences, etc...What will I do with my evenings when I am not driving clear to another city to take my daughter to her choice of Elite Cheer gym, directly after her school cheer practice? Only to rush back to get my niece to her Volleyball practice in town on time...Laundry for 2? What is that? Not having to scrub the bathroom daily because someones aim is off? Not having to sweep the floor 4 times a day, or clean jelly off the back splash? No more clear Popsicle wrappers placed randomly around the house, or in the couch? No more reason to make multiple trips around the entire house to turn off lights, TV's, radios, video games, or straighteners? To be honest, I will probably turn into a complete couch potato because I will have no idea how to function! I will look like some comatose woman, sitting on the couch flipping through all of the channels because I don't think I've ever just got to watch what I want to watch, without the echo of Yo Gabba Gabba, or Family Guy coming from the very next room.

Actually, it's really depressing to know that this will all end soon. It will be so different as one after another leaves for college over the next few years. I forget what it's like to only make dinner for a couple of kids, what do you mean you can't eat 5 lbs of hamburger? The grocery bill will be one of many perks; as of now we are going through at least 2 gallons of milk and 2 loaves of bread a day. Pancakes for breakfast? One entire box, and I worry that I will have to open another. A batch of chicken salad lasts almost an entire day, 3 cases of Ramen noodles for a week...the list goes on. On a brighter note, the 3 youngest will someday know the greatness of having their own rooms! Which is a major complaint/accomplishment around here, of course.

For a few years we will be rearranging and driving all over to cover College football games, and still maintaining our schedule here...but that too will end. Right now with T cheering on two different teams, Big C and H on the same football team, and H seeing some time on JV as well (which is Saturday morning), N is in Volleyball, T also has a job and without her license means we are transporting, we are pretty busy, but I love busy and hate it all in the same breath. I guess I will just have to wait on grand kids for it to start all over again.

D isn't interested in anything other than the girlfriend right now, and Little M just finished up 2 (back to back) seasons of baseball...Little C will enter the mix next year with T ball...I guess I have a few more years to go crazy...but I will sincerely miss all of this. I will miss random kids in the neighborhood walking into our house just "because". I will miss the kids saying "Hi Mommy J Wow" lol (which is the most awesome nickname of any of the moms in this town) I love that my kids are comfortable bringing their friends here, I love that their friends stop by and talk to us...But someday, sooner than we can all even imagine, these kids will have their own families...They will be taking their kids to practice, and making dinner for their family. I can only cross my fingers and hope that they will be wonderful parents, and common sense will soon find most of them...Which I'm sure my mother wished for me...I think it found me...but then again who knows!?

Until next time,

My Mixed up Family of 9

As I get into the swing of blogging, I have been checking out a few other bloggers and "borrowing" ideas, checking out "freebies" so that I can share with you. I don't know about you but I click on some of these, and they want me to answer questions about 20 other companies...yes, no, yes, no, yes, no....ummm no. I close out the page after about 4 or 5 of these popping back up. I do not have 3 hours to answer all of these questions, no matter how ''great" the freebie is. So sorry, I will not be sharing those with you. You are welcome in advance!

My SO has been off for 3 days so far this week, (he works 4 days on and 4 days off) and just as I suspected...he hasn't helped with much of anything. He started this new job about a month ago, and before this he worked 6 days a week for 10+ hours a day, and for half the money. So I was able to forgive his Sunday lazing...I gave him the benefit of the doubt for the first month, because I too have an issue with the "day off" mentality. The problem here, is that when he is in "laze" mode...it is at times contagious, or it just utterly makes me angry so I feign a "strike"...either way it is making me be lazy. Now don't get me wrong, he isn't at all times a couch potato, just a little more than I would like.



I personally do not enjoy hours upon hours of the History Channel, or International News, and all of the other things that go along with having men in your household...Football, I can handle...The History Channel, not so much. He does fit in mowing the grass in between these hours of TV surfing (although with five teenagers, this is something he could easily pass off to them), and if I have a scheduling conflict that sometimes requires me to be in up to 3 different places at once, he will drive a kid to where they need to be. But let's be honest...it's been a month, it is time to light a fire under the BOOTY!!!

What tactics would you use? Your ideas are welcome, although I would like to avoid fire, guns, maiming, or any tactics that would expose the crazy, psycho side of myself...Or do you think I am wrong in that line of thinking? I mean granted, he is now the sole bread winner of the family, and I am the SAHM, so does that mean, he should be allotted the privilege of totally relaxing on all 4 of his days off? I'm new to this, so help me out. Are there any other SAHM's that deal with this type of situation as well?



Until Next Time,

My Mixed up Family of 9

Life and Potty Training

So I am still adjusting to the "Stay At Home Mom" life. Hoping to get more of a schedule established. I never realized how hard it would be to establish a schedule for myself. I can schedule the kids; chores, laundry days, practice, homework, etc. but getting myself on a schedule, with my chores and things that I need to deal with and get done, is proving a much bigger feat. I think it may be mindset, for the most part, getting over the "day off" mindset will be the first thing that needs to be tackled. I have taken to detailing one room or one area of a room every day. Realizing that this is indeed my "job" now, I just don't get paid, there's no review, no raise, and they can't really fire me, that is going to be the hard part, lol.

I am currently trying to get Little C potty trained...yes it's a little late, but obviously with the day care life, along with running around for all of the other kids, it kind of got pushed to the back burner. My daughter was awesome when it came to potty training. It took only about an hour to train her. Years ago when was a single mom, it was an afternoon, the day I got paid and I only had 2 diapers left, and 3 kids needed changing? I had a few hours before I could go and pick up my check. Ugghhh...remembering those days makes me sad. Of course the 2 little kids got the diapers, and she got "panties" (M was just an infant, D was one, and she was 2 1/2). She was so proud to put on those big girl panties! I was expecting an accident, but thought, hey she's happy, maybe this will work!

About 30 minutes later, I hear SCREAMING, not squealing, all out SCREAMING!! I ran in the bedroom, because of course some lion has come through the window, or a masked man was trying to take her away, of course all of those things were going through my head as I am running like a crazy person to the bedroom-she screamed THAT loud! I finally get to the bedroom, and there she is, standing bow legged, like she had been riding a horse for a week, pee running down her leg, tears rolling down her cheeks. Guess what? She never had another accident! It was that easy with her.

The boys on the other hand were a different story. When D was about 3 years old, he loved to watch TV, which he still does, he would get so involved with watching TV that he was absolutely not going to miss 2 minutes of that show to go to the bathroom. He would pee on the floor (in the corner), once he even peed in the toy box!! Little M, would pull it out and pee outsideor where ever we were, common words out of my mouth "Hey! Pull your pants up!" "Get that thing back in your pants!"...I tell ya, potty training has always been a thorn in my side.

I know these aren't ideal things to share, but I guarantee one of these things, if not all of them, have happened or will happen in your house. Heck, there are five teenagers here, and I wonder about the potty training issues they still have to this day. Pee goes IN the toilet, not ON the rim, not on the back of the toilet, not on the floor, IN the toilet! Just to prove a point, I will share the next story; about 6 months ago I went into Big C and H's room looking for something, and seen an apple juice bottle, not a single serving bottle, the BIG ones you buy from the grocery store. Not out of the ordinary for a 17 yr old kid, as big as he is, to drink a full one of those, so no problem right? Wrong!

After coming downstairs, a few minutes later, H asked me to go to the store to get juice or something, and I said, "well your brother has a full thing of Apple Juice upstairs, tell him to give you some." The answer H gave me almost made me see red flaming horses galloping through my house! "uhhh no, that's not apple juice." WHAT????? Yes you guessed it...this kid, instead of getting up and going to the bathroom, was peeing in this apple juice bottle, and it was still sitting in his room!! Ugghhh....trust me parents...things will happen in your house, that if you ever find out about it, you will have a hard time believing it, other people will not believe it. People will judge you when you tell them., but it's OK. I have good kids...they just have a tendency to do stupid things, as all children do...I'm just willing to share a little more than most !

Until Next Time,

My Mixed up Family of 9

What a week! What a mess!

So we have made it through the first week of school...YAY (doing the happy dance!) We are now on to week two, and everyone is getting back on track. Although my hand is cramping with all the paperwork I have had to fill out! Why on earth can they not have one piece of paper per family? Instead of every teacher needing a separate sheet filled out on top of 2 emergency medical forms, etc?

Football Friday night was fantastic! I love hearing all the fans cheering! Of course, I also love the fact that we won (: Every week, someone puts Styrofoam cups in the fence, and comes up with witty or inspirational sayings to pump up the team...I have no idea who they are, but I love them for it! This week "One Town, One Team, One Dream...We Believe" is the saying of the week, and as I get on Face Book, all the kids are adapting that in their status updates, etc. Some one needs a pat on the back for pumping up an entire town!


Big M is off until Saturday, so we will See how much help he will be around here. (: This stay at home mom thing is a lot harder than I anticipated. I thought I was good before, working full time and keeping up on the house (somewhat)...NOW, I am expected (or I guess I expect it of myself) to down and dirty clean. I have chosen to take one room on at a time...but as I have finished up the first full week, I now realize that before I even get through the rooms, I have to go back and re clean the other rooms...I never realized just how dirty some things can get?


So this weeks question? What do you do? What is your secret? Where do you start? How do you stay sane without drugging yourself, or drinking yourself into oblivion? Your input will help keep me out of the Loony Bin (:

Until Next Time,

My Mixed up Family of 9

Kiddies BoDiddies

So....school started today, and I should be more excited. 6 of them gone for the majority of the day, and it's just me and the little booger at home. Which is great, except he has chosen today to be sick for the first time in months. Not just sick, puking sick...ugghh. This year is a little bitter sweet, as it begins our roller coaster ride with graduations and colleges. With the ages in this house, we will have a kid graduating and starting college, every year for the next 5 years! The older kids are now in 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade, and then we will have a break with the next one being in 5th grade and then a 3 year old.

Of course the school year is starting off with a bang, with the oldest already calling home because he some how forgot all of his football stuff? So although, I know I should say, "oh well" because taking it to him is only going to ensure that these phone calls continue through out the year, I will take them to him...

With Football season starting, we are keeping busy. The two oldest kids playing Varsity, and our daughter cheering Varsity, it will be the last year all three of them are on the same field on a Friday night. I can't wait to start the bios, and let you meet all of the amazing kiddos in the house (: But for now it will wait! Make sure to check the previous post for the Give A Way! And until we meet again, Hakuna Matata!!!

Contest

To kick off the start of my new blog! I am offering cold hard cash! Yes I said CASH!! How can you win? Well you are here, so you're one step closer! The amount??? $10 via paypal!!!! Hey it's FREE, so don't complain (:

In order to win, you must:

• first like My Mixed up Family of 9's Facebook page: www.facebook.com/#!/pages/My-Mixed-Up-Family-of-9/102034363230346 and comment "I want cold hard cash!" or some other witty saying of your choice (:




• second follow the blog here at My Mixed Up Family of 9: http://mymixedupfamilyof9.blogspot.com/




• Third comment on the About me blog post right before this one! (a comment or question, whichever you prefer!)




• Fourth: Share my page with your friends and invite them to come and visit my fb page and my blog!




• Fifth: have a paypal account (: (since that is the way I am rewarding the money)

In order to award the give-a-way I will have to have a minimum of 25 followers! The comments will serve as your number, and the number will be drawn using random.org! Winner has 24 hours to claim and will be announced on the blog and on the facebook page!! (If we do not have the minimum 25 followers by Friday, we will extend until Monday, so don't despair!)

If the winner does not claim within 24 hours, we will draw a new winner!

Thank you!!!